The midlife question not crisis

Who’s with me thinking ‘what’s next?’

It’s hard to believe I’m talking about mid-life.  I’ve never liked the term, but here I am.  I just sent my middle child to college and have one still in high school.  We’ve always heard about the infamous midlife crisis some men experience.  We hear about the cars and younger women, although I think for most men it’s not experienced that way but that’s another article entirely.

For us women, though, I determined it’s the midlife question.  I’m talking to moms all the time that are in midlife, because our kids just graduated high school together or they graduated years ago with my oldest.  The conversation usually goes from what our kids are trying to figure out to what we are trying to figure out.

I have had countless conversations with this theme and the responses vary but are something like this…

“Now I’m trying to figure out what to do with my own life.’

“I’m not even sure what I want to do.”

So many are grappling with what’s next.   Do you have the underlying feeling of wanting more from your life?

Have you spent the majority of your adult life being a mom?  I’m so happy that I have and am so grateful to my husband that he’s been such a wonderful provider for our family, and I also want more.  I also want to have a purpose outside the house.  I want to provide more income and fund my own dreams.

That’s how I found life coaching.  I was exploring other avenues of business that I could do from home.  After trying a couple things I found life coaching and the tools I learned helped me so much personally that I pivoted to become a life coach myself.

Here’s what I learned that can help you answer these questions.

It matters what question you're asking & the thoughts you’re having on the subject.  The brain’s job is to answer your questions and find evidence for your thoughts.

Let me give you a couple examples to explain.   Sarah and Caroline have both been the primary caregivers for their children.  The kids are grown and out of the house or almost and they are both ready for more.  They have both had part time jobs and have been involved in their kid’s schools, fundraisers, etc.

Sarah tells me ‘I have no idea what I want to do now.  Who would even hire me now?’ Her brain will get to work proving to her that she has no idea what to do and that no one would hire her.  It’s likely that she has so much doubt that she won’t even apply to any jobs.  She’ll take a look at LinkedIn a few times and find job descriptions that require experience she doesn’t have and stop there.

Caroline, on the other hand, thinks ‘I have more to offer now than I did when I was 30.  I’ve managed my family and kid’s activities for years.  I’m responsive, super organized, pretty tech savvy and willing to learn anything.’  She will likely see some of the same job descriptions on LinkedIn, but she will go further than that and create opportunities for interviews and jobs.

These may seem like semantics but they’re so much more. If neither of them changes a thing, it’s likely that Caroline will find work outside the house that she enjoys and Sarah will likely stay stuck or will settle on a job that isn’t what she really wants. 

Your thoughts create everything in your life.  They determine your feelings and what actions you decide to take.

Paying attention to your thoughts and the results you’re creating takes some practice, but if you work on it intentionally you will make lasting changes in your outlook, your results and your overall well being

Our own brain is what usually gets in the way of our goals and desires.  Want to make changes?  Ask yourself powerful questions that will serve you.  Think thoughts that create beliefs you want instead of letting your mind keep you stuck.  Your mind is wired for safety and comfort.  It doesn’t want you to do hard things.  That’s what makes them so hard.

If you find yourself wanting more, wanting change in this time of your life, carefully consider your questions and your thoughts.  Let your brain get to work discovering what you really want life to look like and what you genuinely need to do to make it happen.  Writing all of this down helps.  You can really see what’s going on in your head and it might surprise you.

Need a little help?  I’m here.  This is what I do.  I help women rediscover and even reinvent themselves.  I have tools that are powerful, yet simple, that will help you feel better, create more confidence, & get real results you desire.  Health, career, financial, relationship goals…. We can work on anything you want to change in your life.

More is possible. Change is possible. Doing hard things to reach goals is hard, and staying stuck where you are is hard. It’s hard either way. Do you want to stay where you are or make changes and find more? You get to decide.

I’m rooting you on!!